How to love?



When a child is born and grows to become an adult he or she would explore life adventures in many ways up until he or she on the hunting expedition looking for a soul mate. There are many hunters that were savaged by lions and leopards along the way while looking for the springboks. Those who escaped wolves, lions and leopards are still nursing their unhealed wounds. It's quite difficult to notice a lion when its wearing a sheep skin. You would welcome it in your heart, soul and mind while it intend to strike you down unexpectedly. There are some lucky people who got what they were looking for during hunting, I congratulate them they should keep the light shining as always even in heaven and I believe even death won't have the power to do you apart. I encourage love in the hearts and I will be consoling those who were hurt in their relationship to regain their strength to fall in love again. People get injured at the wars not in their relationships. I write about love relationship between a man and woman. I am aware of another relationships existing in the world, I'm not discriminating them but I write about a relationship I know and currently maintaining with my husband. I write about what me and my husband believing in when comes to relationship. I hope our relationship thoughts and adventures would be instrumental to your relationship as well. I urge your participation as well to make this site instrumental to everyone.

How to love?


Excavating machine in the name of love

I always associate love as an excavating machine, it digs up rocky land to make it smooth and even for you to move with an ease. It's all begins when love is trusted among two hearts in the relationship. Trusted love works hard for the benefits that would be reaped by a man and woman in love. When untrusted love cohabits your hearts it becomes weak and unable to work for the best results required in the relationship. See-through hearts without furtive motives make love a soldier that fight against all odds posed by life.

Chapter 1.

Love is a soldier on duty.

Love is fraught of many hiccups and challenges but when you love each honestly it easy to deal with those setbacks. Base of your relationship should be solid and firm to stand the test of time. Let love alone to work for the benefits that should be earned by both partners. Trusted love is a soldier on duty and it carries necessary ammunition to fight with any challenges along the way. Laying solid foundation of love is achieved by togetherness between a man and woman in love. Togetherness is resulted from respect and ability to listen your partner. Outside world is always competing about who is superior and smart than anyone. Competition at work among the managers and supervisors will always be fierce because their relationship is money and positions. Friends are always competing the way they wear, cars they drive and house they live in. Love relationship is a different environment and your approach to one another changes dramatically. Love relationship commands its own level of traits and responsibilities that are different from any other relationships. One needs to get ready to enter a sacred space with no friends competition found in a friendship relationship. Friendship within love precincts it gets rid of gossips and betrayals. Your love need to grow if a partner talk behind his or her partner's back or gossiping to one another, such love is nothing but a sham. In love you don't do what the world does. Love relationship is sacred space and it should be a heaven for both of you to live in and forget about the world complexities. World is a separate place from heaven. Gossiping, betrayals, envy, enmity etc. are worldly traits that do not have room in your heaven of love and marriage.

Chapter 2.

How is your garden?

Love like a small plant must be watered. Our tongues are the watering can to water a plant called love. Our words of mouth we utter are like gardening equipment to remove alien weeds that always want overshadow your sweet relationship you have with your wife or girlfriend.

Some people find it difficult to say those cool, sweet words when are due because of certain insecurities they possess. Complimenting how beautiful or handsome your partner is everyday won’t imply that praised partner would be boastful and despise you afterwards. Some people have some insecurity that if they complement their partners they would become Gods over them and become insolent. I believe you chose your partner to be your wife and girlfriend because you loved him or her at the first time you met, he or she deserve that compliment every day.

Empty watering cans in our mouths should be refilled with clean and purified water to continue irrigating our plant love lest become withered and shriveled when there is no water sprinkles over it. Harsh words from a dry watering can in our mouth weakens love to become frail. Our words are like a spade and fork to remove weeds that eager to crowd plant love. Such equipment should be used for the good purpose not to cut one another.

Precautionary measure to use forks and spades around plant love should be taken lest damage it and become cut into pieces. Lioness teeth are sharp as needle but are able to carry a cub unhurt. Our words are also sharp as fork and spade but if are used for good purpose around fragile plant love they can be instrumental towards growth of tender love.

Weeds of love is disrespect, impertinent, superiority, jealousy etc. gardeners of love should notice such scenario and use relevant amenities to remove such dirt to ensure love is growing healthy and strong.

Chapter 3.

Love without problems.

It is possible to create an environment in your relationship where there are no problems. Being crossed and angry is human but how can you hold grudges against somebody you chose from the many and vouched in your heart that you love him or her.

Bible stipulates that in your anger do not sin and do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. There are some couples who don’t talk to each for the couples of days can’t confide to one another. Animosity, hatred and anger are the names that do not appear on the love vocabulary.  Love commands atmosphere of warmth and happiness in your relationship. Losing weight of the couples in the relationship should be the results of gym exercise to maintain healthy living standards not due to relationship complexities.

Listening will always a good skill when communicating to one another. Time you allocate yourself to listen to your partner point of views signifies maturity and understanding what meant by love in your relationship. Telling approach signify being bossy over your partner and such love is nothing but a sham. Healthy love relationship encourages two way communications and listening skills. The words that says ‘I am a man everything I say goes’ they became redundant over the yester years because they were spoken by the primitive and barbaric people. Discerning men out there who understand what love relationship they shun away from such words because they are infectious virus to kill your relationship gradually.

Man significance is not shown by his stern words and commandments over his woman. Man is a leader to lead and create sweet atmosphere of love in his house. Woman ability to multi-task adds flavour in the house when love is reflected from the head of the house.

Chapter 4.

Space ship love.

It takes two to tango in the relationship. I just want to draw your attention to the space ship. When a space ship ignites itself from the ground it rises up to the air. When a space ship sky rocketing an air becomes thinner and finally void. The emptiness of air it means an aircraft is on the other side of an atmosphere with no force of gravity. Outside our atmosphere it is very hot in such a way that tiles covering an air space become melt.

Astronaut uses effective computer system to detect any tiles that tend to melt away due to a scorching environment out there. An astronaut would put on a relevant heat resistant gear to replace a melted tile with a new one to continue with a safe journey. If a melted tile is ignored a hole would appear and heat would get inside to blow up an air space.
When a tile in your relationship start to melt you should attend to it immediately lest blow up your relationship. Your relationship should have an effective system to detect any faults that start to present themselves and dealt with accordingly. You are the astronauts of this relationship and this space ship should float and cruise smoothly without any faults. When a tile start to melt a helping from your partner will be always required to patch it up and trod on with your lovely journey.

It’s worrying and sad if an air space blows up along the way because stars and galaxies are beautiful to explore out there. In your relationship you should watch the stars of all colors. There are beautiful rainbows you should see in your relationship. Life is too short for this space ship to blow up, patch it to glide with Venus, Sirius and Canopus.

Beautiful galaxies in your relationship are to have children and become happy when they are graduating at the universities. Nice rainbow in your relationship is your house and cars you own. Sparkling Venus and Sirius is taking a holiday vacation to the beautiful world landscapes, rivers and seas. Shiny Canopus is when you live happy and enjoy your relationship each an every step of the way.

Chapter 5.

 Take a look at yourselves.

God created a person to be beautiful and handsome. Eyes, ears, mouth and legs were created and fixed into our bodies to entertains and keep our bodies happy. When you become married you become on flesh and soul. When one of the organs of your body is not satiated the whole body get disappointed. Are your eyes still impressed by your partner in front of you as you first met him or her. Do your ears still capable to hear sweet words from your partner? Do your feet still walks towards your wife or husband? When you knock off from work do your feet walks to home or they walks you to see somebody whom you cheat with.

When you are married you become one flesh to enjoy your bodily plugins that were inserted by God in your bodies. It is vital important to search our bodily plugins organs together and fix those which are becoming redundant. Update those bodily organs to work good results for your bodies. If your eyes are impressed by another woman other than your wife, it means your plugin eyes need to work on. Is your plugin mouth still utter those romantic words to your partner? If your plugin mouth utter bad words your relationship is at stake, you need to update your mouth plugin accordingly.

Does your mind content includes high volume of romantic and sweet words? If your mind contains none of those sweet words therefore you need to update it immediately.

Sit down and scrutinize each part of your bodies if they still ecstatic in your relationship. God created life to be enjoyed through our body parts. Eyes see beautiful landscapes and seas, Ears hears sweet music and the sounds of the birds, mouth become happy if it tastes good foods with flavours that entices your tongue buds, hands build nice houses and cars and legs carries us to wherever we want to go.

Your eyes should see your partner, your mouth should praise how beautiful your partner is, your arms should hold your partner fondly, your lips should kiss your wife or husband, Your mind should think of your wife or husband every day, Your feet should walks you towards your partner, your heart should always treasure your partner.

Sex organs are the one of the features that entice a body a great deal therefore it is important talk and peruse your bodily organs to see if they are still satiated in your relationship.

Chapter 6.

 Romantic culture.

I am a Zulu woman that was born and bred in the rural areas. Growing up in the remote areas of Msinga in South Africa has told me many things that was transpiring around me. I learnt a lot about being a virgin up until you get married of which is helpful during these times of various perilous diseases that are transmitted through sexual intercourse. I learnt about all aspects of Zulu culture marriages and how to maintain such wedlock with respect and determination. Zulu women are known of being grounded and respectful. Zulu men are known of loving their female partners and support his family one way or the other. Love among homestead in my area is shown when a man of the house go to the cities of South Africa to look for jobs to support his family. Most of women I saw when I was growing up were the domestic wives. Waiting for their husbands to return home after a year of toiling in the mines would bring joy to everyone at home when the husband and the father come back home. Children and wife become happy to see the father who hardly come home. It's sad when such husband and father have to return back to the city and left his wife and children behind, tears are welling up their eyes when they bid each other farewell. Our culture is centred on complete respect in such a way that some of the good love patterns are treated as dire breach of certain Zulu values. In my area when a man of his house is heading to the city once his annual holidays are over, his family would accompany him to the bus station. When a bus approaching it would take a great deal of himself to kiss his wife among other standby commuters and his children because of those treasured values. I spent a good quality time in my area and I grew up to become a complete woman, then I started to explore more life other than my area. I started visiting big cities of South Africa to pursue my studies and looking for jobs. I discovered many interesting habits and customs that are done by another people of different cultures. One day I visited Durban and I was resting under a tree shade in the park. I then saw two white well advanced couple holding hands and walk each other to their car. A man opened a passenger door and ushered his wife inside a car. I was captivated by their relationship that all these years are still keeping the light shining despite age. I learnt that love goes a long way with another cultures and the lamp that shines at their home is displayed in the public without a shame.

I am a person who notices a great deal. It's common to see people losing interest at each other when they are growing in their relationship of love especially with my own culture. I am not racist but I conduct my own statistics by observing and noticing love patterns in all walks of life. I go out to the parks, malls and any other public places to see how love partners treat each other.
I have been noticing a black couple when heading into their car, a man would open his car door and rest himself inside while his woman is struggling to open a passenger door car by herself while carrying heavy parcels. Well advanced couples they sleep separately with no kisses and holding. We should not allow such long distance relationship at home.
I have been reading a bible that when Adam was away a snake deceived Eva. When you allow distance between the two of you an opportunistic evil can happen. When you got married you sworn to love each other until death do you apart yet you don't sleep together.
Food we eat can have expiry date but love matures when we grow old together. When you grow old its where the body start to feel week and frail but loving hand to caress fondly each other and takes away pains and ails.

Love partners who doesn't talk to each other for a week they allow a gap between them for that snake of Eva in the bible to take an advantage of the situation and destroy your relationship. Life is too short for hatred to one another in the relationship. I always ask myself how can you get upset with someone you love? I mean you chose your partner out of many people and vouched in your heart to love and cherished her I your heart, its awkward that you don't talk to each for days, my question is, are you still maintaining the feeling of love or feeling of enmity. There is no marriage for hatred people, when you angry each other you maintain enmity relationship which doesn't have room in the love and romantic relationship.

Chapter 7.

Love versus lust.

It’s over the weekend you put on your red dress and wear a sweet perfume on your body. You pick up your handbag and head up to town. You get off from your car and trod on to the shopping centres, wading your way through the throngs of people and suddenly a gentleman with a sweet voice greets you. You look at him and you can see love in his eyes, he is impressed by your looks and sweet talks from your smooth mouth. He then asks to meet you again at the coffee shop on the specific date. You go home ecstatic can’t get over his smile and cool tone of his voice.
Many thoughts come flashing your mind if he is really the love of your life or he is just another dog that eager to savage you with its fangs and get away. This is a difficult part of a woman to determine a man’s advances whether are for real or not. You are single and his handsomeness makes your heart skip a bit.
You meet him at the coffee shop as planned and he tells you how much he loves you. Your heart melts away and you welcome him in your life. He invites you to his house; he lays you down and entertains himself, he then disappears into thin air afterwards. It’s evident that lust took over and blurs his heart feelings. Lust loves 50% and hates 100%. 2 Samuel 13 writes about a man called Amnon who loved a lady called Tamar. Amnon’s love was nothing but lust as he planned to rape Tamar. When Amnon finished rapping Tamar he hated her a great deal.
Lust is prominent when your partner doesn’t point at you in the daylight and vouched that this is my woman or man. Lust waits until the sun sets and it leads you to bed only. There are many people who were admitted in the hospital in the name of love but lust took over to transmit fatal diseases.
Lust is a big enemy of love; it takes an advantage of the woman’s soft spot to believe easily what is told by the word of mouth spoken by the man who makes some void advances. Lust is a syndrome of early divorce and break ups. 99% of people in the world need love but only 1% has a true love. Such 99% of people includes conditional love because of bigger financial muscle, cars, level of education ect.
True love is depicted when your partner is proud and confident to point your whereabouts amidst crowds of people. True love stays the same it doesn’t change.