How to love?




When a child is born and grows to become an adult he or she would explore life adventures in many ways up until he or she on the hunting expedition looking for a soul mate.

There are many hunters that were savaged by lions and leopards along the way while looking for the springboks. Those who escaped wolves, lions and leopards are still nursing their unhealed wounds.

It's quite difficult to notice a lion when its wearing a sheep skin. You would welcome it in your heart, soul and mind while it intend to strike you down unexpectedly.

There are some lucky people who got what they were looking for during hunting, I congratulate them they should keep the light shining as always even in heaven and I believe even death won't have the power to do you apart.

I encourage love in the hearts and I will be consoling those who were hurt in their relationship to regain their strength to fall in love again. People get injured at the wars not in their relationships.

I write about love relationship between a man and woman. I am aware of another relationships existing in the world, I'm not discriminating them but I write about a relationship I know and currently maintaining with my husband.

I write about what me and my husband believing in when comes to relationship. I hope our relationship thoughts and adventures would be instrumental to your relationship as well. I urge your participation as well to make this site instrumental to everyone.

How to love?


Excavating machine in the name of love

I always associate love as an excavating machine, it digs up rocky land to make it smooth and even for you to move with an ease. It's all begins when love is trusted among two hearts in the relationship.

Trusted love works hard for the benefits that would be reaped by a man and woman in love. When untrusted love cohabits your hearts it becomes weak and unable to work for the best results required in the relationship.

See-through hearts without furtive motives make love a soldier that fight against all odds posed by life.

Chapter 1.

Love is a soldier on duty.


Love is fraught of many hiccups and challenges but when you love each honestly it easy to deal with those setbacks. Base of your relationship should be solid and firm to stand the test of time. Let love alone to work for the benefits that should be earned by both partners.

Trusted love is a soldier on duty and it carries necessary ammunition to fight with any challenges along the way. Laying solid foundation of love is achieved by togetherness between a man and woman in love.

Togetherness is resulted from respect and ability to listen your partner. Outside world is always competing about who is superior and smart than anyone.

Competition at work among the managers and supervisors will always be fierce because their relationship is money and positions.

Friends are always competing the way they wear, cars they drive and house they live in. Love relationship is a different environment and your approach to one another changes dramatically.

Love relationship commands its own level of traits and responsibilities that are different from any other relationships. One needs to get ready to enter a sacred space with no friends competition found in a friendship relationship.

Friendship within love precincts it gets rid of gossips and betrayals. Your love need to grow if a partner talk behind his or her partner's back or gossiping to one another, such love is nothing but a sham.

In love you don't do what the world does. Love relationship is sacred space and it should be a heaven for both of you to live in and forget about the world complexities.

World is a separate place from heaven. Gossiping, betrayals, envy, enmity etc. are worldly traits that do not have room in your heaven of love and marriage.

Chapter 2.

How is your garden?


Love like a small plant must be watered. Our tongues are the watering can to water a plant called love. Our words of mouth we utter are like gardening equipment to remove alien weeds that always want overshadow your sweet relationship you have with your wife or girlfriend.

Some people find it difficult to say those cool, sweet words when are due because of certain insecurities they possess. Complimenting how beautiful or handsome your partner is everyday won’t imply that praised partner would be boastful and despise you afterwards.

Some people have some insecurity that if they complement their partners they would become Gods over them and become insolent.

I believe you chose your partner to be your wife and girlfriend because you loved him or her at the first time you met, he or she deserve that compliment every day.

Empty watering cans in our mouths should be refilled with clean and purified water to continue irrigating our plant love lest become withered and shriveled when there is no water sprinkles over it.

Harsh words from a dry watering can in our mouth weakens love to become frail. Our words are like a spade and fork to remove weeds that eager to crowd plant love. Such equipment should be used for the good purpose not to cut one another.

Precautionary measure to use forks and spades around plant love should be taken lest damage it and become cut into pieces. Lioness teeth are sharp as needle but are able to carry a cub unhurt.

Our words are also sharp as fork and spade but if are used for good purpose around fragile plant love they can be instrumental towards growth of tender love.

Weeds of love is disrespect, impertinent, superiority, jealousy etc. gardeners of love should notice such scenario and use relevant amenities to remove such dirt to ensure love is growing healthy and strong.

Chapter 3.

Love without problems.


It is possible to create an environment in your relationship where there are no problems. Being crossed and angry is human but how can you hold grudges against somebody you chose from the many and vouched in your heart that you love him or her.

Bible stipulates that in your anger do not sin and do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. There are some couples who don’t talk to each for the couples of days can’t confide to one another.

Animosity, hatred and anger are the names that do not appear on the love vocabulary.  Love commands atmosphere of warmth and happiness in your relationship.

Losing weight of the couples in the relationship should be the results of gym exercise to maintain healthy living standards not due to relationship complexities.

Listening will always a good skill when communicating to one another. Time you allocate yourself to listen to your partner point of views signifies maturity and understanding what meant by love in your relationship.

Telling approach signify being bossy over your partner and such love is nothing but a sham. Healthy love relationship encourages two way communications and listening skills.

The words that says ‘I am a man everything I say goes’ they became redundant over the yester years because they were spoken by the primitive and barbaric people.

Discerning men out there who understand what love relationship they shun away from such words because they are infectious virus to kill your relationship gradually.

Man significance is not shown by his stern words and commandments over his woman. Man is a leader to lead and create sweet atmosphere of love in his house. Woman ability to multi-task adds flavour in the house when love is reflected from the head of the house.

Chapter 4.

Space ship love.


It takes two to tango in the relationship. I just want to draw your attention to the space ship. When a space ship ignites itself from the ground it rises up to the air.

When a space ship sky rocketing an air becomes thinner and finally void. The emptiness of air it means an aircraft is on the other side of an atmosphere with no force of gravity.

Outside our atmosphere it is very hot in such a way that tiles covering an air space become melt.

Astronaut uses effective computer system to detect any tiles that tend to melt away due to a scorching environment out there.

An astronaut would put on a relevant heat resistant gear to replace a melted tile with a new one to continue with a safe journey.

If a melted tile is ignored a hole would appear and heat would get inside to blow up an air space.

When a tile in your relationship start to melt you should attend to it immediately lest blow up your relationship. Your relationship should have an effective system to detect any faults that start to present themselves and dealt with accordingly.

You are the astronauts of this relationship and this space ship should float and cruise smoothly without any faults. When a tile start to melt a helping from your partner will be always required to patch it up and trod on with your lovely journey.

It’s worrying and sad if an air space blows up along the way because stars and galaxies are beautiful to explore out there. In your relationship you should watch the stars of all colors.

There are beautiful rainbows you should see in your relationship. Life is too short for this space ship to blow up, patch it to glide with Venus, Sirius and Canopus.

Beautiful galaxies in your relationship are to have children and become happy when they are graduating at the universities.

Nice rainbow in your relationship is your house and cars you own. Sparkling Venus and Sirius is taking a holiday vacation to the beautiful world landscapes, rivers and seas.

Shiny Canopus is when you live happy and enjoy your relationship each an every step of the way.

Chapter 5.

 Take a look at yourselves.


God created a person to be beautiful and handsome. Eyes, ears, mouth and legs were created and fixed into our bodies to entertains and keep our bodies happy.

When you become married you become on flesh and soul. When one of the organs of your body is not satiated the whole body get disappointed.

Are your eyes still impressed by your partner in front of you as you first met him or her. Do your ears still capable to hear sweet words from your partner?

Do your feet still walks towards your wife or husband? When you knock off from work do your feet walks to home or they walks you to see somebody whom you cheat with.

When you are married you become one flesh to enjoy your bodily plugins that were inserted by God in your bodies.

It is vital important to search our bodily plugins organs together and fix those which are becoming redundant. Update those bodily organs to work good results for your bodies.

If your eyes are impressed by another woman other than your wife, it means your plugin eyes need to work on. Is your plugin mouth still utter those romantic words to your partner? If your plugin mouth utter bad words your relationship is at stake, you need to update your mouth plugin accordingly.

Does your mind content includes high volume of romantic and sweet words? If your mind contains none of those sweet words therefore you need to update it immediately.

Sit down and scrutinize each part of your bodies if they still ecstatic in your relationship. God created life to be enjoyed through our body parts.

Eyes see beautiful landscapes and seas, Ears hears sweet music and the sounds of the birds, mouth become happy if it tastes good foods with flavours that entices your tongue buds, hands build nice houses and cars and legs carries us to wherever we want to go.

Your eyes should see your partner, your mouth should praise how beautiful your partner is, your arms should hold your partner fondly, your lips should kiss your wife or husband, Your mind should think of your wife or husband every day, Your feet should walks you towards your partner, your heart should always treasure your partner.

Sex organs are the one of the features that entice a body a great deal therefore it is important talk and peruse your bodily organs to see if they are still satiated in your relationship.

Chapter 6.

 Romantic culture.


I am a Zulu woman that was born and bred in the rural areas. Growing up in the remote areas of Msinga in South Africa has told me many things that was transpiring around me.

I learnt a lot about being a virgin up until you get married of which is helpful during these times of various perilous diseases that are transmitted through sexual intercourse.

I learnt about all aspects of Zulu culture marriages and how to maintain such wedlock with respect and determination. Zulu women are known of being grounded and respectful. Zulu men are known of loving their female partners and support his family one way or the other.

Love among many homestead in my area is shown when a man of the house go to the cities of South Africa to look for jobs to support his family. Most of women I saw when I was growing up were the domestic wives.

Waiting for their husbands to return home after a year of toiling in the mines would bring joy to everyone at home when the husband and the father come back home.

Children and wife become happy to see the father who hardly come home. It's sad when such husband and father have to return back to the city and left his wife and children behind, tears are welling up their eyes when they bid each other farewell.

Our culture is centred on complete respect in such a way that some of the good love patterns are treated as dire breach of certain Zulu values.

In my area when a man of his house is heading to the city once his annual holidays are over, his family would accompany him to the bus station.

When a bus approaching it would take a great deal of himself to kiss his wife among other standby commuters and his children because of those treasured values.

I spent a good quality time in my area and I grew up to become a complete woman, then I started to explore more life other than my area. I started visiting big cities of South Africa to pursue my studies and looking for jobs.

I discovered many interesting habits and customs that are done by another people of different cultures.

One day I visited Durban and I was resting under a tree shade in the park. I then saw two white well advanced couple holding hands and walk each other to their car. A man opened a passenger door and ushered his wife inside a car.

I was captivated by their relationship that all these years are still keeping the light shining despite age. I learnt that love goes a long way with another cultures and the lamp that shines at their home is displayed in the public without a shame.

I am a person who notices a great deal. It's common to see people losing interest at each other when they are growing in their relationship of love especially with my own culture.

I am not racist but I conduct my own statistics by observing and noticing love patterns in all walks of life. I go out to the parks, malls and any other public places to see how love partners treat each other.

I have been noticing a black couple when heading into their car, a man would open his car door and rest himself inside while his woman is struggling to open a passenger door car by herself while carrying heavy parcels.

Well advanced couples they sleep separately with no kisses and holding. We should not allow such long distance relationship at home.

I have been reading a bible that when Adam was away a snake deceived Eva. When you allow distance between the two of you an opportunistic evil can happen. When you got married you sworn to love each other until death do you apart yet you don't sleep together.

Food we eat can have expiry date but love matures when we grow old together. When you grow old its where the body start to feel week and frail but loving hand to caress fondly each other and takes away pains and ails.

Love partners who doesn't talk to each other for a week they allow a gap between them for that snake of Eva in the bible to take an advantage of the situation and destroy your relationship.

Life is too short for hatred to one another in the relationship. I always ask myself how can you get upset with someone you love?

I mean you chose your partner out of many people and vouched in your heart to love and cherished her I your heart, its awkward that you don't talk to each for days, my question is, are you still maintaining the feeling of love or feeling of enmity.

There is no marriage for hatred people, when you angry each other you maintain enmity relationship which doesn't have room in the love and romantic relationship.

Chapter 7.

Love versus lust.


It’s over the weekend you put on your red dress and wear a sweet perfume on your body. You pick up your handbag and head up to town.

You get off from your car and trod on to the shopping centres, wading your way through the throngs of people and suddenly a gentleman with a sweet voice greets you.

You look at him and you can see love in his eyes, he is impressed by your looks and sweet talks from your smooth mouth. He then asks to meet you again at the coffee shop on the specific date.

You go home ecstatic can’t get over his smile and cool tone of his voice.

Many thoughts come flashing your mind if he is really the love of your life or he is just another dog that eager to savage you with its fangs and get away.

This is a difficult part of a woman to determine a man’s advances whether are for real or not. You are single and his handsomeness makes your heart skip a bit.

You meet him at the coffee shop as planned and he tells you how much he loves you. Your heart melts away and you welcome him in your life.

He invites you to his house; he lays you down and entertains himself, he then disappears into thin air afterwards. It’s evident that lust took over and blurs his heart feelings.

Lust loves 50% and hates 100%. 2 Samuel 13 writes about a man called Amnon who loved a lady called Tamar. Amnon’s love was nothing but lust as he planned to rape Tamar. When Amnon finished rapping Tamar he hated her a great deal.

Lust is prominent when your partner doesn’t point at you in the daylight and vouched that this is my woman or man. Lust waits until the sun sets and it leads you to bed only.

There are many people who were admitted in the hospital in the name of love but lust took over to transmit fatal diseases.

Lust is a big enemy of love; it takes an advantage of the woman’s soft spot to believe easily what is told by the word of mouth spoken by the man who makes some void advances.

Lust is a syndrome of early divorce and break ups. 99% of people in the world need love but only 1% has a true love. Such 99% of people includes conditional love because of bigger financial muscle, cars, level of education ect.

True love is depicted when your partner is proud and confident to point your whereabouts amidst crowds of people. True love stays the same it doesn’t change.

Chapter 8.


Let’s avoid abusive relationship.


I always say love is like a golden hen that comes with silver chicks. Love packages all beautiful elements entirely without any adversities.

Abusive relationship is when a partner in love mistreats another fellow partner and love becomes null and void.

Harsh words might be not prickle your physical body but when uttered they destroy a character or dignity ones feel as a partner in love relationship.

I always say it’s better to come down with a physical disease than emotional demise. A physician can find it easy to heal physical illness but when hurt emotional he can’t offer any assistance.

There are many factors that could contribute on abusive relationship.

Consumption of intoxicating substances such as drugs and alcohol can change ones thinking method to utter abusive words and sometimes beatings.

Such situation requires an immediate intervention to halts it on the onset by referring such individual to rehabilitation services.

Work stress can be a contributing factor towards abusive relationship.

It is vital important to plan your work in line with objectives of your company, people who plan in life they are hardly get stressed or depressed because any stress can cause perilous situation at home, especially in your relationship. Work stress can be severe when you live unhappy at home.

Onus is on the love partners to create a warm love relationship at home that would eradicate any outside stress to wake up refreshed next morning to deal with new challenges.

Happy partners in love they create their heaven together at home and anywhere else. Unhappy partners in love they might as well create hell for them to roast alive.

Financial issues in the relationship can be the source of noise and sadness. Needs and wants should be met within your financial muscle, overstretching yourselves to procure anything that cost arm and leg to impress neighbors can leave a family destitute and noise would erupt.

Despising your partner because he or she earns less than you doesn’t symbolize unconditional love that should cohabit your heaven of love.

Supporting your partner who doesn’t have any source of income should be accompanied by super love. It’s very hard to swallow food coupled with harsh words, no matter how nice that food is but it becomes swords to tear your throat opened.

Revealing your secretes shared between the two of you to your colleagues at work or friends is symptoms of calamity of relationship and it would definitely evoke your partner’s emotions negatively to become stressful and abusive.

Telling your friends how your partner gets under your skin when he or she is snoring at night, might be the joke of the day but would taste bad in your partner’s ears when he or she gets to know about it.

Chapter 9.

 Aiming for the perfect love in your relationship.



Maintaining healthy love in your relations is easy and possible. Your wife in front of your eyes is not just any person, she is your darling. Your husband that is before your eyes is not just any person, he is your sweetheart therefore atmosphere between the two of you should speak volume very high.

Love is like a black coffee; still have to put sugar and milk to taste good on your tongue. A black coffee without sugar and milk is dull.
Sugar in your coffee is telling your partner how much you love her or him every day.

Milk in your coffee is kissing your partner every day. Sugar in your coffee would be shown when you protect your partner and support him or her through thick and thin. Milk in your coffee is to work hand in hand when performing chores at home.

Sugar in your coffee would be sweetened when you compliment your husband if he respects you and come home as always, wondering how many men who sleep out without their female partners’ knowledge.

Milk in your coffee is when you compliment your husband if he managed to buy any necessities required at home, such appraisal is due give it, you may wonder how much your appraisal can encourage your husband to continue doing good for the family.

Sugar in your coffee would be reflected when you fasten your wife’s shoe laces when she is pregnant, I can’t imagine difficulties when she tries to bend  over on herself when her man doesn’t care.

Milk in your coffee is shown when you call your husband at work and tell how much you miss him and tell him about nice food you prepared for him once he gets home after work. Sweetness of sugar in your coffee is kissing and hug your wife in the door step when you arrive at home after work.

If such ingredients are not well in your coffee relationship, a man would come home to shout and scold everyone at home. You can blow your own trumpet to say you are the head of the house and everyone should be quivering and scared when you around the truth is, your relationship is very far away from the definition of love.

Sugar in your coffee would exist in your relationship once you become humbled and respect your husband one way or the other. Man’s heart melts by respect from his wife and he would reciprocate by means of protection, caring and responsible towards his wife.

Milk in your coffee should appear when you don’t judge each other by the previous unsuccessful relationships, love always refresh itself to climb up the peak of mountain to reach the summit and dwell without descending, when given another chance to live again.

Chapter 10

Trust in the relationship.


Trust is one of the ingredients to a successful relationship. The question is do you trust your wife or husband. If your relationship lacks trust, it’s like a cavity in your tooth that aims to rot your relationship gradually.

Showing your fellow partner indications that you don’t trust him or her cause the heart to tear apart and it takes a great deal to mend it.

It is very common to ask those suspicious questions when your partner couldn’t pick up your call during evening when maintaining long distance relationship.

You would run haywire over nothing whereas your partner is bathing while charging his or her mobile. When your partner picks up your call, a can of worms opens that would left her or him heartbroken.

When busy shouting at each other; good atmosphere in your relationship becomes very gloom.

Trust between partners nourishes love to blossom bright in colors.

Insecurities are the syndrome of calamity of trust in your relationship. Stereotyped minds make imaginations to be true.

When your wife comes late at home from her work one of the days, think other causes that would be a contributing factor, it should be a road traffic, delayed trains or bus.

Questions like, ‘Where have you been? Are you starting to cheat on me now?’ can depict lack of your manhood confidence.

A gentleman who trusts himself doesn’t dare to ask those questions that show dire insecurities.

Trust is built by listening skill.When your partner explains reasons behind such unusual behaviours he or she done without intentions, jump a gun and shoot harsh words is uncalled for, when your partner goes to bed bleeding of those bullets in her heart.

Persuading her or him to forgiving you once your anger subsides, would turn out to be nasty when she turns her or his back towards you during evening.

Controlling anger is a part and parcel of maturity in your relationship, because it very hard to come to terms with words you said out of anger once you reconciled each other.

You can forgive each other but those harsh words they are hardly get erased in the mind of your partner.

Healthy relationship makes a partner to be the confidant of the other one. Love comprises of many secretes that should be shared between the two hearts involved.

Your dreams, hopes, visions and exploration remains in the diaries of your hearts, divulging those secretes to anyone other than your partner.

Bedroom talks are your valuable information that should rest under your bed cushions. These secretes shouldn't be a topic among your colleagues in the office or friends around canteens.

We always get warned about the third person that should be avoided at all cost in the relationship to avoid unnecessary interference, because the third person can be detrimental to your relationship, when he or she is given an opportunity to vent his thoughts as to how your relationship should be handled.

Men do talk about love making when they are together. I don't recommend such topics because anyone who is listening can stab you in the back and run after your partner afterwards.

It is very common to hear such stories that somebody's else wife was cheating with his friend, it's because men compliment their wives in front of their friends as to how they manoeuvre when making love.

Ladies as well, would compliment their men in front of other ladies at work or at the saloons. When your friend is starting to run after your man, a relationship become sour.

Spare those words until evening, say them when you are undressing each other, say those words when kissing and caressing each other fondly. Those words are special only for your hearts in love.

Chapter 11.

Love existence.


Many people nowadays they believe that power of love has been diminished. I have heard some men and women saying that they have given up on love because it’s something that is redundant in the hearts of the many.

These people are talking from experience, they wail over their relationship that couldn’t work out. Hearts of these people were left tattered with very scarce hopes to mend.

When I listen closely to young women’s complaints, they wail about their boyfriends who came as hyenas that wear a sheep’s skin. They would go on to say that on the onset their relationship was going smooth up until they fell pregnant.

They said that their pregnancies brought menace in their relationship. Other woman I spoke with said her boyfriend disappeared into a thin air after she fell pregnant with his baby.

I always say a fool take lessons from his or her mistakes but wise person learns from other people’s mistakes. I have seen many young school girls becoming pregnant, now its raises some questions that is it the results of love or teenage lusts, no! It’s not love but its lusts.

I always say that lust leave people crying because of its consequences afterwards. True love doesn’t run away when any woman become pregnant, it’s always there all the time, it’s also doesn’t have some conditions.

It very important to wait until you are able to differentiate between love and lusts. Once you are familiar with characteristics of love and lust, you won’t be hurt by any men out there.

To kill a chicken you would have to throw grains of maize on the floor then it would come near and catch it while still eating.

Once a man throws a grain of love into your ears, you should scrutinize such grains on all sides and find motives behind those abundance of grains supplies.

Almost 99 percent of men out there, make some advance to their female counterpart out of sexual motives that rule their minds. 1 percent of men approach women out of genuine love.

If a person tells you that he loves you, ask him what he understands about love. If I say yes to your advances, what does that mean, what such love entails?

What should I give and what you would reciprocate in return because love is all about give and take. I mean your presence in my life should be beneficial in terms the way I think, speak and behave.

When we build a ship of love, I should bring along nails and hummers, my male partner should also bring along measuring tapes, screws driver, and planks. We are building such ship to cruise the seas of love.

It’s bothersome if one partner in love carries the burden of bringing along all the material to build a ship of love while another fellow partner in love is relaxing.

Such project will fail along the way and that ship won’t fit to stand strong against current and heavy sea waves, finally it sinks. I am trying to say a woman and man in love should participate to grow their relationship.

Yes, love still exists and you should not give up on it. We as women let’s scrutinize the grains that are thrown by the men. Men who always throw grains should also be cautious not to feed a chicken that would eat your grains to come close to you and scratch your face.

I remember when I was growing up in the rural areas, there was a cockerel that would chase and scratch my body if I fed the chickens.

Yes that cockerel would eat maize grains but it would attack me as well, I used to cry while my body was bleeding of the deep scratches made by its sharp claws. It is very difficult to up bring a puppy once it becomes a dog savages you in return.

Chapter 12.

Respect in the name of love.  


Respect is one of the characteristics your relationship should have. I am talking about a man respecting his woman and woman also respects her man.

Existence of respect in the relationship is a mirror where a man and woman in love look themselves from it.

Respect among the wife and husband is reflected among their children at home to respect one another as well.

Respect rules the words you utter every day to your partner, it also reflected to your body language.

Body language speaks louder than words. When your partner moves out of the house while still talking to him or her, it shows disregard, and impudence.

If your partner tells you how much she loves you over the line, and you would sneeringly stick out your tongue at her because she can’t see you, reciprocating love words to her would be like betraying yourself, and the relationship you have.

Body get used of bad habit that you always do, one day you would stick out your tongue out of sneer, and she would be much offended once she notices that kind of a behaviour.

Respect starts from respecting yourself.

Respecting yourself, means to refrain from mentioning harsh words, and insults.

Respecting yourself, means you wouldn’t be found at the places that degrades your dignity as a man or woman.

It degrades a man’s dignity if a man is found among street sluts while he has his wife, or girlfriend at home.

Respect is inherited from the upbringing of a child. A child that is brought up with respect would hold that respect in her heart until she becomes an adult.

It is very important to teach a child a respect to keep that light shining even with his or her relationship.

A family that doesn’t have respect it running a risk of maintaining unhealthy and mediocre relationship.

I believe true love lays a strong respect foundation as a base of entire relationship. Relationship without respect tends to fall apart easily.

Respect encourages cool atmosphere of love at home and anywhere else. A man’s heart melts when his woman bows in front him, when she brings breakfast in the morning.

Woman’s heart is taken away when his man treasure her in his heart and treat her as a woman.

Chapter 13.

Polygamous relationship.


Polygamous relationship is when a man gets married with more than one female partner. Such relationship has been there for years and some other cultures and religions still believe in polygamous relationship.

A bible says King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 girlfriends that made up to 1000 women that were in the love relationship with him alone.

Some African countries are still practising polygamous relationship. Shembe religion in South Africa permits a man to have many wives as he likes. Muslim religion followers also still believe in polygamous relationship.

From the woman’s point of view, I think polygamous is contravening women rights to choose.

There would be no woman that would approve such relationship except being compelled by the certain circumstances, i.e. religious commands or man’s intentions to have an extra marital relationship.

It’s very common and natural that women they tend not to get along each other. There will always be a fierce competition among women at each other.

Such competition varies from the clothing format, hair styles, cars, and houses owned, etc. Competition among women that I should appear better than any woman would never end even when are married into a polygamous relationship to any man.

I believe any man that wants extra marital relationships is applying for an unsettled love affair at his house. Woman’s heart doesn’t share when comes to love.

If I am in love with my man, I need him day and night by my side as always. Woman’s heart in love wants a freedom to own.

I want to own my man, I want to own my house, and I want to own my children yet recognizing a head of the house of which is my man.

There is a saying that says,’ too many people spoil the broth.’ Yes King Solomon in the bible had some many wives but his mission to praise God turned away by these women.

If a man has an extra marital status, he should depend on his personal judgement as a man to grow such relationship. A man’s success is determined by the woman in his life.

Natural politics among women would also be there in the man’s extra marital relationship and it would destruct a man’s focus to progress in life.

Sexual satisfaction in a polygamous relationship would be compromised. Love relationship is complemented by love making that was made to encourage love between two people in love.

When we couldn’t able to agree on a certain subject love making should interfere to fix such errors and give us that opportunity to call each other with those sweet words, definitely disagreement would vanish.

Grudges in a polygamous relationship are like a time bomb that you don’t when it would explode when love making detonation is nowhere to be found.

Polygamous relationship affects the children negatively when the head of the house mind was distracted by one of his favorite wives.

Only God make the weather to rain over the good and the bad. Human love would be always conditional towards other people especially in a polygamous relationship where a man can’t deal with a single issue and solve it immediately.

If the older wife loses some taste of love in the man’s tongue, she would be penalised to suffer the consequences by that man when he stops supporting the children of than woman when the younger wife stole his heart a great deal out of anything and everything.

Chapter 14.

Long distance relationship.


A long distance relationship is a definition of love partners that are living apart from each other due to various reasons.

One of the reasons that cause long distance relationship is work commitment at different places.

If you want to measure high level of trustworthiness between the two people in love, ask the love partners that maintain long distance relationship.

I say the level of trust is high between them because blood of a human being always yearns to misbehave.

I always regard those love partners that maintain long distance relationship as soldiers of love and trust.

There is a saying that says, ’familiarity breeds contempt but absence grows heart fonder.’ I am not agreeing with such saying because I believe healthy love doesn’t breeds contempt despite familiarity or absence.

As I mentioned that long distance relationship meets the definition of two people in love that are living apart due to certain reason, it quite frustrating to find out that there are some love partners that are living together but maintain long distance relationship at home.

I always say, life is too short for those disregards to one another, can’t talk to each other for days.

Long distance relationship while you live together throws those special moments down the drain. Healthy relationship commands those golden special moments that were well spent together to cherish them in your hearts until death do you apart.

I associate healthy relationship with bees and honey. Two bees in love should work hand in hand to make sweet honey love. Dual visions should be together to select sweet nectar and avoid sour nectar that would spoil your sweet honey relationship.

Onus is upon all love partners to concoct their honey whether to become sweet or sour. Good works between the two of you should be seen on the honey you eat every day.

Love as honey was made to be sweet but discretion is upon yourselves to collect relevant nectar.

It is very hard to binge or gobble down something that is sour, you would frown and grin your face out of bad a taste.

Once a bee formed a sweet honey, it bears some babies. Upbringing of those children becomes a privilege when they experience sweetness environment created by their parents.

I grew up in the rural areas of Msinga - South Africa and my brother used to bring honey in winter and I have never taste sour honey.

If love partners collect sour nectar they would reap sour honey and children grow up in that environment they will never learn how to make sweet honey.

Chapter 15.

 Apologizing and forgiving.


They say it’s human to do mistakes. This is very true; we live on earth where everything and anything is probably to happen when we err.

Mistakes appear throughout the walks of life. Christians believe that God created the world and He also complemented life with challenges to test how strong your faith is. Luke 11:2-4 says, ‘Pray then like this: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.'

God would only forgive your mistakes once if you are able to forgive others as well. God knew that human being on earth is susceptible to err somewhere and somehow.

There is no one on earth who doesn’t err at some point in life. 1 John1:8 in the bible says, ‘If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.’

I would say it is very wrong to judge anybody in accordance with what he or she has done mistakably. It is very vital important to forgive a person if he or she has done anything wrong to you. You are not in the position to judge that person because tomorrow it would be your turn to fall into the pit of errors, and you would need to be forgiven as well.

Forgiving can be like swallowing burning coal down into your belly and it calls for maturity. Healthy love relationship dissolves mistakes into joy and happiness.

Apologizing can be conditional if love relationship is based on certain conditions. Love relationship that centers on who has a bigger financial muscle than who, can compel a partner with lower financial muscle to apologize for mistakes she or he never do.

Apologizing will always be a fire extinguisher to put down a blazing fire of anger and get back to love again.

Many love partners have offered many gifts as tokens for being apologetic to their fellow love partners they wronged. Many people believe that flowers facilitate apologizing and forgiving process, this is not wrong but it makes love to be conditional. Love shared between the two hearts of a man and women in the relationship is more than any tokens to show how apologetic you are. Waiting for gifts as tokens given when apologizing can delay a process of forgiving before a gift is given.

Apologizing partner should show in deep of his heart that he or she is sorry about the inconveniences caused to another fellow partner. A word ‘sorry’ should be said with an empathy heart to the victim. A word ‘sorry’ shouldn’t be uttered in vain without a meaning. A partner would say ‘sorry’ in vain because he or she knows that her or his fellow partner loves him or her so dearly therefore an apology would be definitely accepted one way or the other.

It is very important to avoid harsh words during apologizing moments. When starting to engage conciliation discussion between the two of you, victim’s words uttered can backfire at you a great deal. This would be the moment in time to use good words to avoid conflict. Remember there is no one justified when fighting in the war.

A swimmer uses two arms to move the body in the water. Arms are used to move and avoiding a body to sink. Arms would exchange each other to move the body around in the water. When the left arm paddling underneath, the right one would appear on top of the water.

I associate love relationship as the body that would call for two arms, i.e. women and man in the relationship to keep it floating. It is very important that if your partner is high in the air with anger then a fellow partner should lower himself underneath the water to keep the body relationship going.

Chapter 16.

Are men dogs?


People who were hurt in their relationship choose to be single for quite some time if not for the rest of their lives. There is a high number of women who are the victims of circumstances than men when everything go awry in love relationship.

I asked a couple of single women I know in my area about the causes that led to live a lonely life. Their responses were almost the same that men are dogs; they left them for another new love relationship with other women of their choices.

Most of men I spoke with have many unsuccessful love relationships and they never give up until they are have a stable one. I then realised that there are many women who are single than men. Pointing fingers at each other is always the case when issues erupt in the love relationship.

People of the world let’s face the truth, a man was created to be the head and a leader in almost everything. If the leader doesn’t lead by example and take control of love relationship effectively, that love would definitely die. Rule of thumb says a leader choose, that’s why fingers are pointed towards men who cause love relationship to fail.

Train coach requires a head engine to travel far away distances. In this life I saw many train coaches abandoned and left at their own devices stucked in the scary jungles and lonely mountains. Heavy loads still lay heavy on their back and their heads are towing other couches.

I always say love would come into existence once lust is removed from men. I am saying this because a man would find it easy to camouflage his lust with love when approaching any women he craves for. We all know that a man’s weakness is in his eyes whereas a woman’s weakness is in her heart that melts too easily.  I beg to differ with men who believe that love would be ignited once lust took its course in the outset.

I would like to indicate that a woman was created to look beautiful for the man’s eye to be captivated and approach as a result. Her beautifulness would be complemented by the respect and humbleness to make that woman your lifetime partner.

There is a law in the bible that was put by God that a human being should multiply each other and subdue the world. That law created a craving especially on top of all men as heads. It is very possible for a woman to stay single for many years but for a man would find it hard to stay at least 3 days without making love. Such cravings make a man lie about love when approaching a woman to relieve their natural desires.

I always say a true man would control such cravings to avoid too many unsuccessful relation out of covets. Many women are left alone while being pregnant and deliver babies while their fathers are nowhere to be found.

A law of God of multiplying and subdue the world do apply towards animals as well but any of those animals was made to mate one another during certain seasons. Human being is not compelled by any natural seasonal desires to fall in love because actions are guided by his common sense. Natural desires are there but onus was left with us to make valid decision that we would not regret our actions.

I strongly believe that many unsuccessful relationships were due to someone who couldn’t able to control natural cravings when attacked them.

Chapter 17.

Love changes everything.


In life, we need each other. Genesis 2.22 says that God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Woman creation by God speaks high volume that we need each other.

When you are on the hunting expedition for your soul mate, you are susceptible to all sorts of risks that would linger over your head once you accommodate each other as love partners. Adam in the bible led a peaceful life with no curses up until Eva came to his life and led him astray.

People are raised from the different upbringing environments and that make them vary in terms of their thinking methods. I always regard people who enter new relationship as soldiers that sacrifice their lives to feed what the hearts want. Accommodating one another in love means that you accept each other no matter what set of qualities attached against their upbringings when love takes its course.

Love teaches an old dog some new tricks but when it’s gone true colors emerge to show a person’s real inborn characters.

I always believe that love that was built on a strong foundation gets rid all those different backgrounds and cultivates dual communions between the man and woman in love.

Encounters in love should be beneficial to one another sparingly. Changes that are brought by the partners in love should beneficial in terms of new sets of thoughts, vision and assistance to one another to fulfil certain goals in life together.

Rule of thumb reveals that for every successful man in the world there is a wise woman behind that man. Does your presence in your man’s life constructive or destructive? Rule of thumb also reveals than woman are smarter than man. Do we use such smartness we possess to steal our men minds to reap them off for our own benefits or guide them into the correct directions?

A man’s house without a woman is cold as death but arrival of a wise woman to the man’s life enlighten up the house and become cozy through her natural skills of multi-tasking.

I have done my own research that most of men who doesn’t have women soul mates, drown their sorrows by binging alcohol. When wise woman come into such man’s life and speak sense to him, he would find no reason to take any sorts of intoxicating substances.

I strongly believe that it is useless to drink alcohol and become a drunkard while you have a lovely wife and the children to look after.

A change a man brought to the woman’s life is portrayed when he respects and values her in his heart. A man’s support towards his woman and the whole family would always be seen as a token of love and caring. Calling your women at work and tell how much you love her, would bring a change in her life to know how much is she appreciated by her man.

An engine can’t run using petrol only, when there is no oil and water its pitch changes strangely while internal mechanism is destroying until it gets burst. When oil and water poured into the correct channels, they then lubricate those pipes and stabilize faulty engine mechanism to run smoothly.

When you find a soul mate in your life, changes should be seen and felt deep down into your soul and find the strength to tread forward ever together.

Chapter 18.

Harmony in the name of love.

There was a research that was done some time ago that if a man and woman in the love relationship squabble more often, their love affair becomes stronger as before.

I beg to differ with such research because those harsh words and insults uttered when fighting are difficult to get rid of them in the mind. Such words leaves an indelible mark that takes time to vanish.

There is no reason to quarrel in the love relationship. You will be soon become the idiots of anger and harsh words when you are kissing and cuddling one another again. It always challenging to face with those harsh words and insults you angrily uttered to your partner once you get back to love again. Those harsh words and insults growl like a charged dog ready to savage all of your good love feelings and cripple them.

I grew up in the rural areas and I used to draw water from the river. Water from that river was cool, fresh, and clear as the sky above. Food cooked by that water would taste good and healthy.

One day, I went to river to draw some water again but unfortunately I found a cow standing in the water while messing with it. I chased a cow away and I waited day long for the water to clear up. Water could not clear up hence I filled up my container as dirty it was.

When I got home, I prepared some food and served my family. Food was very hard even to get it down our gullets as it was also soiled since it was cooked using soiled water from the river as well.

In the morning my father fenced a place where the water was to avoid cattle from messing up water in the trench. Afterwards we then continued to use clean water to cook and drink with no dirt. Cattle would go down the stream to drink and play around in the water far from the fenced area.

I am trying to say, your love relationship should always remain crystal clear as the sky above. Cattle to soil it should not be allowed. I associate those harsh words and insults as cattle that eager to drink and soil that clear waters of your love relationship.

When your relationship is dirty with harsh words and insults like water messed up by that cow, it takes great deal of time to clear up. Kisses and love making become a sham as detestable food that I cooked by the water that was soiled by cow.

Put a fence around your waters of love to avoid a mess to repeat itself in your relationship. A fence in this regard would be revisiting and renew those vows you pledged to abide by on your wedding day. Fence involves apologies and forgiveness at each other. Stern promises should be made that such horrible incidences should go down the stream and leaves your fenced areas of love clean and purified.

Fence in your clear waters of your relationship is to respect your husband and compliment him when he supports his family constantly. Many men out there fail to support their family when their interests are shifted.

Compliment is due, give it when your man come home everyday, you may wonder how many men out there that does not come home for days when their interests change directions.

Fence in your purified waters of your love relationship is to support your woman during her pregnancy by untying the laces of her shoes. Walk her to the bedroom, lay her down and place your hand on her tummy to feel your baby while moving about.

Fence circled your relationship is to call your woman at work and tell how much you love her, she deserve it, remember, you have chosen her out of the many women and said you love her. Your women is the most beautiful lady in the whole world wide, let her know that everyday.

Strong fence around your cool, clear mountain stream of relationship is to get rid of harsh words and insults on your tongues. Sweet romantic words should rule to tell the body and the mind that they feed from the clean, fresh and healthy mountain spring water with no room of dirt.

You what you eat. Our body system and mind adapt easily to behave what you are preaching and believing in. If you feed your body system and mind with harsh words, insults and vulgar language, love disappears and your faces become ugly with stress.

Mind and bodily system that are fed from romantic words make your bodies look healthy and smooth with no rash on it. Healthy love is a good doctor of all fatal diseases.

Chapter 19.